Jan. 29, 2016

Filtered Through The Public Eye

Friday, January 29, 2016
4:57 PM CST

Happy Friday, My Dearest Men and Women.
The Reason For This Particular Post Is To Witness What Is A True Revelation, Though I Had Been Tempted To Not Regard It As Such.

As Fun-Loving, And Free-Spirited, And Wild, And Sometimes Naive As I Can Be, In My "Anything Goes" Outlook On Life, I Regrettably Failed To Accept What Is Truth And To Get Understanding In One Particular Area Of My Life, The Same That Inspired This Here Post.

As Some Of You May Now Know, I Published A Post On Thursday, January 28, 2016, Headlined, "Shades of Jacky Blue." And I Had Expressed, Within That Now Deleted Post, My True Admiration, For Lack Of A Better Word, Towards A Certain Individual. And Being The Sometimes Naive, Anything Goes, Carefree And Free-Spirited Person That I Am, I Just Spoke What I Felt - In A Straight-Forward Manner - And Thought Nothing More Of It Afterwards. But In The Less Than 24-Hrs. Since That Post Went Public, I Have Endured Some Hostility And Much Misunderstanding That Has Caused Me A Level Of Anguish - Not To Mention Humiliation.

For On This Date, I, Cat Ellington, Was Clobbered With A Sledgehammer Of The Reality I So Desperately Wanted To Deny, And That Is That I Am A, Dare I Say It, PUBLIC FIGURE.

God Knows In Heaven That For Quite Some Time Now, I Didn't Want To Believe It. I Didn't Want To Accept It. I Didn't Want To Deal With It. I Rebelled Against The Truth Of It. I Fought My A$$ Off Not To Just Accept That It Is What It Is.

Why? Well, Because Hell, It Just Doesn't FEEL Like I Am. I Don't Feel Any Differently Now Than I Did When I Had Been A Member Of The General Public. I Mean, I Walk Around, In The Privacy Of My Home, With My Hair All Over My Head, Ya Know? I Wear A Washed Face When I'm Not Working Or Out And About, And My Nail Polish Gets Chipped, Ya Know? I'm Just Cat. I Wear Over-sized, Holey T-Shirts Around The House. Because They're So Damned Sexy To Me And Comfy, Ya Know? And I Just Don't Feel Like Someone Who's Famous. I Just Don't. But Reality Is What It Is. I've Crossed A Line In My Life. And It May Not Feel Like It To ME, But I Have.
I May FEEL Like An 'Everyday Woman,' But I Am No Longer An 'Everyday Woman.' Once That Line Was Crossed, I Couldn't Go Back. I'm Known For What I Do Now. My Life Of Anonymity Is Now Gone Forever.

My Life Is Now Being Filtered Through The Public Eye: What I Do, What I Say, Where I Go (If My People Happen To Inform Any Member Of A Media Organization - Local Or Otherwise), etc.
If I Were To Say, Get Caught Stealing A Pressed Powder Compact, Chances Are That It'll Make News Once The Authorities Learn My Identity And What I Do For A Living.

And Y'all Wanna Know Something? I Was Tempted To Hate The Fact I Could No Longer Bask In Anonymity. I Just Didn't Feel Any Different Now Than I Did, Say When I Was 18, 19, 20 Years of Age.

I Have Been Extremely Naive. I Just Wanted To Believe That I Was Still Just Like Everyone Else; That I Could Just Say Or Do Whatever I Wanted. But Slapped To My Senses, I Now Know, And Am Forced To Accept, That I Am Not Any Longer Like Everyone Else In The General Public, But That My Words And My Actions Carry Consequences And Repercussions. There Is A Great Deal Of Responsibility Involved.
I've Now Been Forced To See The Truth Of The Matter And To Accept It - No Matter How Challenging Accepting It May Be.

I Had To Get Slapped The Hard Way Today.
And I Do Apologize To Any And Everyone Whom I May Have Offended By Way Of The Aforementioned Post.

I Will Still Be That Jive-Talkin', Fun-Lovin' And Free-Spirited Woman That I Naturally Am. I'll Just Strive To Remember That As A Public Figure, My Life Is Being Filtered Through The Public Eye.

Cat Ellington ;)

Lots of Eyes by BuBu Olivier Schibli Is Featured Courtesy Of The Black Jaguar Music Company.
Thank You To BuBu and Everyone At The Carlos Reid Gallery.
Love Y'all.