Jan. 29, 2016

Filtered Through The Publc Eye

Friday, January 29, 2016
4:57 PM CST

Happy Friday, My Dearest Men and Women.
The Reason For This Particular Post Is To Witness What Is A True Revelation, Though I Had Been Tempted To Not Regard It As Such.

As Fun-Loving, And Free-Spirited, And Wild, And Sometimes Naive As I Can Be, In My 'Anything Goes' Outlook On Life, I Regrettably Failed To Accept What Is Truth And To Get Understanding In One Particular Area Of My Life - That Area Which Inspired This Here Post.

As Some Of You May Now Know, I Published A Post On Thursday, January 28, 2016, Headlined, 'Shades of Jacky Blue.' And I Had Expressed, Within That Now Deleted Post, My True Admiration, For Lack Of A Better Word, Towards A Certain Individual. And Being The Sometimes Naive, Anything Goes, Carefree And Free-Spirited Person That I Am, I Just Spoke What I Felt - In A Straight-Forward Manner - And Thought Nothing More Of It Afterwards. But In The Less Than 24-Hrs. Since That Post Went Public, I Have Endured Some Hostility And Much Misunderstanding That Has Caused Me A Level Of Anguish - Not To Mention Humiliation.

For On This Date, I, Cat Ellington, Was Clobbered With A Sledgehammer Of The Reality I So Desperately Wanted To Deny, And That Is That I Am A, Dare I Say It, PUBLIC FIGURE.

God Knows In Heaven That For Quite Some Time Now, I Didn't Want To Believe It. I Didn't Want To Accept It. I Didn't Want To Deal With It. I Rebelled Against The Truth Of It. I Fought My A$$ Off Not To Just Accept That It Is What It Is.

Why? Well, Because Hell, It Just Doesn't FEEL Like I Am. I Don't Feel Any Differently Now Than I Did When I Had Been A Member Of The General Public.
I Mean, I Walk Around, In The Privacy Of My Home, With My Hair All Over My Head, Ya Know?
I Wear A Washed Face When I'm Not Working Or Out And About.
My Nail Polish Gets Chipped, Ya Know? I'm Just Cat.
I Wear Oversized, Holey T-Shirts Around The House. Because They're So Damned Sexy To Me. COMFY, Ya Know?
And I Just Don't Feel Like Someone Who's Famous. I Just Don't. But Reality Is What It Is. I've Crossed A Line In My Life. And It May Not Feel Like It To ME, But I Have.
I May FEEL Like An 'Everyday Woman,' But I Am No Longer An 'Everyday Woman.' Once That Line Was Crossed, I Can't Go Back. I'm Known For What I Do Now. My Life Of Anonymity Is Now Gone Forever.

My Life Is Now Being Filtered Through The Public Eye: What I Do, What I Say, Where I Go (If My People Happen To Inform Any Member Of A Media Organization - Local Or Otherwise), etc.
If I Were To Say, Get Caught Stealing A Pressed Powder Compact, Chances Are That It'll Make News Once The Authorities Learn My Identity And What I Do For A Living.

And Y'all Wanna Know Something? I Was Tempted To Hate The Fact I Could No Longer Bask In Anonymity. I Just Didn't Feel Any Different Now Than I Did, Say When I Was 18, 19, 20 Years of Age.

I Have Been Extremely Naive. I Just Wanted To Believe That I Was Still Just Like Everyone Else; That I Could Just Say Or Do Whatever I Wanted. But Slapped To My Senses, I Now Know, And Am Forced To Accept, That I Am Not Any Longer Like Everyone Else In The General Public, But That My Words And My Actions Carry Consequences And Repercussions. There Is A Great Deal Of Responsibility Involved.
I've Now Been Forced To See The Truth Of The Matter And To Accept It - No Matter How Challenging Accepting It May Be.

I Had To Get Slapped The Hard Way Today.
And I Do Apologize To Any And Everyone Whom I May Have Offended By Way Of The Aforementioned Post.

I Will Still Be That Jive-Talkin', Fun-Lovin' And Free-Spirited Woman That I Naturally Am. I'll Just Strive To Remember That As A Public Figure, My Life Is Being Filtered Through The Public Eye.

Cat Ellington ;)

Lots of Eyes by BuBu Olivier Schibli Is Featured Courtesy Of The Black Jaguar Music Company.
Thank You To BuBu and Everyone At The Carlos Reid Gallery.
Love Y'all.