The Lyrics To TEO's "Cheesecake":
I don't want to be your toy perhaps today / I'm not gonna be your boyfriend / It's too late / I look all over the maps trying to escape / 'Cause I'm tired of being your sweet cheesecake. . .
(Pausing To Ponder. . .)
(. . .Resuming)
You Are Being Misled To Earnestly Believe That Such Lyrical Content, As Well As The Caption Attributed To The Meme Which Leads This Post, Apply To You Where I'm Concerned. . .
Are You Not, Mr. Internet Titan?
Yes, Of Course You Are.
And Speaking Of The Term of Profanity, Featured In The Meme's Caption, YOU Can Be So Full Of It, You Know That?
Seriously. I Think You're Full Of It.
Neither The Lyrics Nor The Caption Apply To You Concerning Me. You Know Better Than That.
. . .But You Continue To Both Underestimate And Falsely Accuse Me Of Such. Do You Not?
Before I Go On, Allow Me A Minute To Get All Mushy On You. . .
I Just Received My Birthday Gift From You Today. And It Is Absolutely Beautiful. And I Mean That With Everything In Me. It Is Beautiful. It Is Without A Doubt One Of The Most Precious Birthday Gifts I've Ever Received - And Over Many A Year, I've Been The Recipient Of Some Great Ones - Including Having Yet Another Year Added To My Lifespan.
And I Have To Say That Your Writing Is Beautiful. Thank You. Thank You For Choosing Me As Your Subject. I Love You For That.
Now, Back To Nitty-Gritty. . .
You 'Tire' Quite Easily, Don't You? Are You Working Too Hard Or Something? . . .
Wearing Yourself Out Trying To Figure It All Out? What?
Because Your Latest Delivery To My System Has You, Once Again, Declaring Fatigue. Your Second Time In A Matter Of Weeks.
Could The Culprit Causing Your Weariness Be Yours And My Whirlwind Game of Tag? Hmmm?
Perhaps This Is The Problem?
Why Yes, It Could So Possibly Be. . .
. . .Yet, In A Compelling Nature, You Continue To 'Tap' Me On My 'Plump' Rear And Shout Out, 'You're It!'
And Hell, I Find It The More Compelling To Chase You In Return, That I May Slap The Tag Right Back On Ya.
These Mutual Actions Are What Binds Us. . .
. . .Mr. Silicon Valley.
Are You Really Convinced That I Am Tempted To Regard You As My Personal "Toy," Mr.Web Developer?
Are You Really In Belief Of That? Because Nothing Could Be More Untrue.
Have You Forgotten, Uh, Mr. Worldwide Web Master, That It Was YOU Who Catcalled ME? Have You Forgotten? Evidentally You Have.
Ya Know, I Would Kindly Advise ANYONE Who May Take Up An Interest In Catcalling Me, To Be Well-Prepared For A Fun-Filled - And Sometimes Dizzying - Verbal Adventure That I Will Surely Take Them On, If I So Choose To Answer His Or Her Call. . .
. . .And Answering Your Catcall, My Beloved Prince of Silicon Valley, Had Gone Without Question - Simply Because I Like You As A Person. You Could Be The Manager Of Or A Cashier At Walgreen's And I'd Still Befriend You.
. . .I STILL Would. I'd Still Jive Witcha.
We've A Reciprocal Fascination Between Us, My Dear One.
But If You Choose To Bear False Witness Against Me By Claiming That I 'Don't Give A Damn About Love,' Or That I'm Treating You As If You're My 'Toy,' Then Such Witnesses of Falsity Will Only Cause Me Great Offense, And Bring Betwixt The Two Of Us, Strife.
Heed What Is Truth, My Beloved.
You Are Not Some 'Toy,' But A Full-Grown Man. And In My Very Own Personal Opinion, There Is No Other Being In Creation Greater Than A Man. . .
. . .Men Are So Beautiful To Me - Both The Jew and The Gentile Alike:
I Love Their Physical Strength.
I Love The Way They Smell.
I Love The Power Of Their Loins.
The Way They Make Love.
The Way They Talk.
Their Hairy Bodies.
Their Strong Arms.
Their Natural Leadership Abilities.
Their Power. . .
Just Everything About The Way God Designed Them In Their Creation.
Men Come First, Because God Created The Man First.
Men Are Just So Badass And Sexy. . . Their Masculinity Drives Me Insane.
. . .And A Man Is What You Are.
Not Some "Boy Toy," But A Grown, Smart And BRILLIANT A$$ Man, Who Has Built Multi-Billion Dollar Internet 'Houses.'
You're A Man And You Always Will Be A Man.
And I Admire Your Masculine Kind. . . Even Truly So.
. . .Mind You, The Only "Boy Toy" I Have Is A Male Pomeranian.
My Dearest Tech Giant? Remember What I Said To You About The Chase? Hmmm? Of How It Would 'Wear You Out - Especially If Your 'Prey' Happens To Be One Of The Feline Kind?' Hmmm? You Remember?
. . .You Started This.
And It Would Be Well For You To Finish This.
Don't Pull Out Conceding To Fatigue Yet. . .
. . .Go Pop Some Geritol And Get Back On The Hustle.
You're It. . .
GirlISH, KittenISH, CoquettISH, And Uh, Ooh, Hootie and the BlowFISH,
If You Still Want Me To Set Aside A Bottle Of Wine For You, Let Me Know.
I've A Cabernet Tempranillo (2008) That I'm 100% Sure You'll Fully Enjoy :)
Futurama Meme by Meme Center Is Featured Courtesy Of The Black Jaguar Music Company.
Thank You, Dear Tyler.