Nov. 21, 2015

We Need More Data On Cat Ellington, STAT(s)!

The Following Is A Created-For-Post-Purposes-Only Gossip-Laced Conversation Between Four Female Friends - As They Prepare To Order Lunch - In A Fictitious, Dimly Lit Restaurant.

Subject #1 (Sitting Her Menu Down To Tap A Cigarette From Its Package) "Y'all Ever Hearda Cat Ellington?"

Subject #2 (Looking Up From Her Menu) "That Songwriter?"

Subject #3 (Returning From A Trip To The Bathroom - Just In Time To Catch Subject #2's Question) "What Songwriter?"

Subject #2 (Taking A Few Swallows Of Cold Soda Pop) "Cat Ellington."

Subject #4 (Snapping Gum) "Uh-Huh! I Know Who Y'all Talkin' About. Ain't She Da One Wit' All Dem Pretty Flowers And Stuff On Her Website? Girl, She Be Trippin'. What About Her?"

Subject #1 (Dragging On Her Cigarette, Exhaling A Dense Fog Of Smoke) "She Say She 6'4 In Heels. I Was Just Wonderin' How Tall She Is Wit'out 'Em."

Subject #2 (Belching) "Girrrl, Shiii*, Prolly Like 6 Feet Or Some Shi*."

Subject #3 (Glancing Over Her Menu - Grinning A Toothy Grin) "Yeah, But Dat Would Depen' On How Tall The Heels Are, Tho'."

Subject #4 (Snapping Gum Bubbles - Loudly) "I Think I Had Read Somewhere Where She Said She Was 5'10 Or Some'n Like Dat."

Subject #2 (Taking Another Swallow Of Pop) "Shiii*, A Bi*ch Dat Damn Tall Don't Need To Be Wearin' No MuhhhFuggin' Heels No Way."

Subject #1 (LOL) "Okay!"

Subject #4 (LOL) "Fo'rea'yo."

Subject #3 (LOL) "Girl, Yo' A$$ Crazy!"

Subject #3 (Motioning For A Waiter) "Is Cat Ellington Her Real Name?"

Subject #4 (Snapping Gum Bubbles With Bared Teeth) "Shi*, Who Knows? Naw, Wait. I Think Her Real Name Is Kim. Cat Her Nickname. But Dat Ellington Part, Tho'? I Don't Know 'Bout Dat One."

Subject #2 (Now Smoking A Cigarette Of Her Own, Takes A Drag, Then Blows Out A Stream Of Eye-Stinging Smoke) "Shiii*, Her Tall, Goofy A$$ Prolly Made Dat Shi* Up. Sidity Bi*ch. I Heard She Gat A Big A$$, Tho'."

Subject #1 (Crushing Out Her Cigarette In A Provided Ashtray - While Blowing Out Her Last Cloud Of Smoke) "Damn! Fo' Real? Who You Hear Dat From?"

Subject #2 (Flicking Off Cigarette Ash Into Her Ashtray) "This Dude I Know Said He Seent Her Befo' At This . . ."


Now See, My Dear Men And Women, Where The Path Of Speculation Leads? To Absolutely Nowhere.
But You All Can Bypaaass That Kind Of Frick-Frackin' Jaaazz By Going Straight To The Source - Being It . . .

. . . At, You Can Get The TRUE Facts On Data Concerning My Stats: Body Weight, Height, Net Worth, My Shoe Size, My Family Names (Including Ellington), And Even My Brassiere Size.

And How Do I Know All Of This? Well Because The Great Folks At CelebRiot Contacted My Team On This Day To Inform Them, And They In Turn Informed Me.

Those With Access To My Résumé And Press Kits Have Obviously Shared Them Forward. And That's Groovy With Me.
Before I Got Started On This Post, I Went To Visit That Site, And I Like It A Great Deal. They're Very Thorough - And Professional. It's A Wonderful Location, Specializing In Celebrity Stats And Biographies.

Thank You To Tim And Jackie For Compiling All Of My Data So Nicely. Good Job, Babies. Y'all Work So Hard, But Extremely Well, Together. And I Love You Both So Very Dearly - Especially You, Tim. I Love You, Baby.
And To Graham, MWAH! I'll Be Talking To You Soon. Thank You For Welcoming Me To Your Extraordinary Database. Thank You. I Am Honored To Be Listed. And I Thank Your Staff As Well. To All Of You, My Respect.

Team IMDb? We Are In Receipt Of Your Emails. Pages For Strickland And Me Will Be Created Shortly.
Hey, Squirt! (Ha-Ha)

Stayin' True To Facts, Not Fiction,
iBustandHips ;)

Fact Vs. Factoid Illustration by Ruthless Editor Is Featured Courtesy Of The Black Jaguar Music Company.
Thank You, Brian.